Defects of Character

I know what I have to do.  The next right right thing obviously. Whether it's laundry, making breakfast, or paying bills; I just don't want to do it.

I'm really good with the planning and scheduling parts of what I gotta do.  But when the zero hour arrives, suddenly the next right thing is not so important or it can wait.  Pro-cra-stin-a-tion is a five syllable word for sloth.  It is a defect of character that continues to plague me.

Welcome to my Dis- Ease

My name is.  Ha, ha. My name is....um ya got me. Here's where I have to make a decision, the first of many I presume. Do I use my actual name? My nickname? A pseudonym perhaps.  In my process I imagine that I am a good writer, talented even. I would like to receive accolades (yeah sure) feed back (of course) criticism (uh...not so much).

Anonymity is a tradition of the twelve step fellowship which really does shape my journey. the 12 steps is path to life as is often said and they, the 12 steps, serve as a structure for me. That is when I finally accept that once again, I have had enough. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I surrender and sometimes, I take action.

So my name is; mine; your name; your friend's name maybe your brother or your mother's name. My name is human, sentient, divine. I am a spiritual being having a human experience and I find myself powerless. I find myself powerless over things I consume and the things that consume me.